child like......?

i used to write poems in the first grade
first grade..!?! (one is a friggin' six year old in the first grade)
used to sit in the balcony..and sometimes the terrace......used to stare up at the moon..
lyk a wolf about to howl in anticipation..(ya right..as if.....i was very cute..still am)
the vastness above me..overwhelmed me..the brilliant dots ,like a diamond map...
i longed to flaot amidst the surreal cosmos.
jet planes were the koolest thing for me then, after helicopters....(coz i had never seen a rocket)
no wonder astronomy fascinated me...
i was unbelievably simple...until complexity took a toll on me.
jus like the cells in my body , and the ego in the mind.
now its all i have..complexity.



in my opinion...rock music. ill tell you what it is all about..( coz what the hell ,this is my sapce....im going to give an opinion about any goddamn random thing...!)
punk, rock ..it gives the youngsters (and many not-so-young-people) an unusual high....its rebelious..unconventional..agressive..unique..deep..unworldly.it comes as a breath of fresh air among colorful ,minimal clothes..dancing about irrationally..
its lyke more of an expression than anything else......
becoz ( coming to the point) music is melodious and rock can get confusing when we talk about melody...it then bases upon different perspectives.
u might have a different perspective.....
think u cud make me believe otherwise?
please do....because im willing to have a different insight.



i would like to work upon my will power..and limited necessary detachment...(its more lyke a reminder for me.nothing to do with you...)

i write randomly..i like it that way...don really like order..its stressful.and u know why....becuase im jus following and keeping track of the randomness of my mind...the mind.
i wanna see the extent to which it (the mind) , cud go nuts..in bewilderment, how chaotic it can get yet with a streak of sensibility....zooming in and out of pointlessness ,vagueness , idealism and practicality...

the beginning...

for starters, thot i would offer some familiarity though i knw you don care. , one phrase that describes me - unpredictably contradictory yet dutiful . like i said , for starters,im gonna stick to my word. hehe....(that explains the dutifulness).


creativity is essential ,for the soul to evolve....
creativity is natural,innate,spontaneous. yet...curbed in many.
the reasons...?well u cud say...lack of courage,u cud say other unimportant things become seemingly important.
when we r kids ,its lyk we quite naturally know what we want.
but as we grow..i would say confusion gets to us...we lose sight of what we really want.blame it on distorted proirities.what would really makes us happy,
happiness?.............very subjective..or is it
?sometimes i feel , the presence of indulgence is important to maintain 'earthliness' in the world.otherwise everybody else would be joyous....so whats wrong in that ,u might wonder
the problem would be that there would b no suffering, and without suffering, you would disrespect happiness.
the sense of achievemwnt would vanish....one would never really be able to feel bliss , coz then u wudn know what bliss means.would u want that?..i don think so.
overcoming hardships and coming out jus fine paves way for a fulfilllment which is absolutely overwhelming.getting back to enlightenment...too heavy it might sound,
yet its attainable..that extreme , unexplainable joy and stability...even for a child,
but lyk its said and quite rightfully so...no pain, no gain....hehe..it is not easy.
unfortunately....its difficult for a lot of people to get on..during testing times.
but they make it..with courage.giving rise to brilliant success stories.
this particular trait of the humankind......to unitedly, or individually fight the most unthinkable battles, be it the material level or not....
is just so beautiful,so positive, i cant find words that would be apt for its description...pro'lly 'undescribable' would do.
the world...with all its goodness, badness, ugliness, its ours, my home.
im ready to take on it, and so should you be...so should everyone..
coz its a great oppurtunity thrown at us...for us to grow.i love the fact.
every experience is a test. to savour and learn from.
its only a platform....have faith.
i cud go on. but i wont.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
never mind